U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
