you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
