I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Success! We fucked roommates!
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