yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
