if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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