So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
