He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
you made out with another girl for some wings
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
