I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
