There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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