can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
