I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
