I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
