that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize