His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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