Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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