I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
