Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
