Can i not drive my cunt home
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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