Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
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