I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
