Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
