if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
