Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Two words: blizzard sex
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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