It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Sorry about my life...
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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