**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
