Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
