Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Randomize
