Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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