im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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