your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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