You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
