oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
