you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
This is my gift to your gina
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize