I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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