He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
