Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
The best revenge is premature balding
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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