Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
