So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
