I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
More tranny stories later!
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
this is an emotional support booty call
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
