I got chris browned last night
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
