i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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