So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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