Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
