worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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