Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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