he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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