She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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