I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
