Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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