whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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