we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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