Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize