Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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