I just pynch a tree in the face
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I am mentally ready for anal.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
