Moan for me like Helen Keller
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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