Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
