You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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