i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
