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• (313): View more from Michigan

  I painted my nails silver

  (586): View more from Michigan

  And what are the implications of that?

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien

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• (850): View more from Florida

  Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.

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• (562): View more from California

  don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  110% paid for our cab with a lap dance

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• (415): View more from California

  I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.

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• (941): View more from Florida

  I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....

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• (713): View more from Texas

  You threw up everything but your ovaries.

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