we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
