I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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